One moment of weakness can wreck our great love stories

INT. TRAVIS'S ROOM -- MORNING 

 (mid scene)

MEGAN
What am I to you?
TRAVIS
Do you really want to know?  Cause I'm pretty sure that changes on fairly consistent basis. 
MEGAN
And what I am right this very second?
TRAVIS
You're the cautionary tale.
MEGAN
I don't understand.
TRAVIS
Maybe I'm just better at writing than I am at speaking
(pause, softly)
You should go.
MEGAN
You can't be serious. I come back, and last night.  Last night was amazing, I thought-
TRAVIS
Last night was a lot of things, but most importantly it was a terrible lapse in judgment.  I thought I wanted this, but I don't.
MEGAN
I don't get you.
TRAVIS
I'm painfully aware of that.  Please, just do both of us a favor, and walk out that door without a scene.
Megan looks upset, and quickly grabs her things to leave.  Travis watches her walk out the door to his room.
INT. GRANDFATHER'S HOUSE -- MOMENTS LATER
Megan walks passed the living room where Travis's Grandfather is pulling through records, takes one out. 
GRANDFATHER
Kalliope, I found that record we were talking about.
Megan stops dead in her tracks. 
GRANDFATHER
Is Travis up?  If he isn't we probably shouldn't wake him with-
He notices Megan. 
GRANDFATHER
Oh, Megan.  It's lovely to see you again. 
Megan remains silent.  She can't bring herself to say anything to him.  She just slowly walks out of the house.
INT. GRANDFATHER'S HOUSE -- MOMENTS LATER
Travis comes running down the stairs in a panic.
GRANDFATHER
I assume threes a story her.
TRAVIS
Isn't there always?
GRANDFATHER
Let's hear.
TRAVIS
I would love to, but it's not done yet.  Now, if you will excuse me, I have to stop screwing up and go get the girl I care about. 
INT. KALLIOPE'S HALLWAY -- LATER
Travis stands outside Kalliope's door hesitating whether to knock.  He goes to knock, stops himself, and sits down on the steps.  Kalliope opens her door.
KALLIOPE
Oh good, you're alive.
TRAVIS
I'm sorry.
KALLIOPE
Mild curiosity, how many times am I going to be hearing that?
TRAVIS
Um, quite a few.
KALLIOPE
I don't like being blown off Travis.
TRAVIS
I'm sorry.
KALLIOPE
That's two.
TRAVIS
If you are going to keep a running total, this is going to get embarrassing.
Kalliope lets out a small laugh.  There is a small, awkward beat.  Travis is trying to figure out the words to say.
KALLIOPE
If you are trying to formulate a big romantic speech just because you stood me up, save your creativity.  All I'm looking for is, "I'm sorry Kalliope" you don't even have to lie and tack on, "it won't happen again", you can just tell me you will try not et let it happen again.  You aren't a jerk Travis, I'm sure you had a good reason.
TRAVIS
I had a reason.
KALLIOPE
Was it a good reason?
Travis looks at her speechless for a moment. 
TRAVIS
(softly)
Megan came back.
KALLIOPE
Oh.
TRAVIS
I got rid of her. 
KALLIOPE
And why does my gut keep telling me it isn't that simple.
Travis doesn't say anything. 
KALLIOPE
The great Travis Dillinger, with nothing to say.  I'd be flattered if this wasn't crushing me.
TRAVIS
I'm sorry.  I really, really am. 
KALLIOPE
Me too Travis.  I'm sorry for a whole heck of a lot of things at this moment, chief among them for letting myself fall under your spell.
TRAVIS
Kalliope.
Kalliope walks back into her apartment.
KALLIOPE
Save it for your next book Travis.  I know I'll just be a footnote in it.
Kalliope shuts the door and Travis just sits on the hallway steps with his head in his hands. 

I need

to figure out how to do the whole expandable post thing so this looks better 

Variations On A Theme

So I have a self-imposed deadline on Variations on a Theme (anything you see in here with the character of Travis...it's from that) at the end of the month. So I thought I'd blog a little bit about it, on a grander scale from the random first draft scenes I've tossed up on here. Basically we follow Travis, 30, back from his 6 year escape to Europe. He gave up his whole life and very promising writing career for a pretty set of blue eyes, and now he's back. The movie details his slip ups and triumphs on getting his life, his career, and his relationships back in order. Along the way he meets Kalliope who, despite despite his resistance, proves to be something more than just a fun distraction....


Wow I'm really going to have to work on rephrasing all that, because it comes off kinda lame, but thank God I'm better at dialogue and setting a scene than I am writing about what things are about in a general summation form.  My second screenplay with co-writer Matt Donofree, I feel this is the one that will get us somewhere, and I feel it is a really strong group of characters, and a nice little story. I'm approx 80 pages in, just have to tackle the last act, and I'm pretty in the zone right now, so...hopefully it'll be done quickly. 

Since I ditched prose (ah my first love) to work on screenplays (what start as an awkward affair) I have been slowly and steadily getting my screen legs on. This script lets me burst out quick blasts of my narrative style which I miss, but I pair it with my dialogue, and fantasy elements. Also, plot (my arch-enemy in screen-plays) is much stronger than Adultalescence (the first screenplay) with a clear story (multiple stories coming together) paced evenly, all driving to the point where ....well why spoil an ending right?

When all else fails, pull random shit from your own life





INT. MOVIE THEATER - LATER
Kalliope and Travis sit watching a movie, the adaptation of Travis's book.  Travis looks very uncomfortable, constantly shifting and looking at Kalliope.
KALLIOPE
Will you stop moving?
TRAVIS
Sorry.  It's just weird. 
KALLIOPE
Seeing your work on screen?
TRAVIS
I thought I successfully avoided this.  I don't know how screen writer's do it.
KALLIOPE
Well you didn't count on the Film Forum, now did you?  Now sh, I want to see how they butchered the train scene.
Travis shifts some more.
TRAVIS
You want some popcorn?  A soda? 
He stands up and Kalliope grabs his shirt, and pulls him back down. 
TRAVIS
(softly)
Ok then.
EXT. TRAIN STATION - NIGHT
Bailey and Hannah standing still, holding hands.  Mid-fight, Hannah is crying hysterically. 
HANNAH
Bailey, don't.  Please.  I cant.  Please.  Don't.
BAILEY
I just can't do this.  I've been here before.  I know how this story ends.  I'm not going to-
HANNAH
Please.
BAILEY
Hannah, get on the train.
FX Hannah flicker's into an image of Megan.
MEGAN
Travis don't do this.  You don't want to do this. 
FX Megan flickers back into Hannah
HANNAH
Does your head still get cloudy?
INT. MOVIE THEATER - CONTINUOUS
TRAVIS
Does your head still get cloudy?  What the hell is that?
EXT. TRAIN STATION - CONTINUOUS
BAILEY
Does my head still get cloudy?  God Hannah, you ripped that straight out of a bad movie.
Bailey and Hannah laugh, their heads leaning on against one another.  Hannah touches her face, and wipes her tears on Bailey's cheek.  Just then, the train arrives. 
FX Hannah flickers back into Megan again. 
MEGAN
Is... Is this it?
BAILEY
I don't know. 
Bailey puts Megan/Hannah on to the train.
BAILEY
I just need time to think.  Ok?
MEGAN
I love you.
BAILEY
(softly)
Yeah. 
INT.  BAILEY'S CAR - MOMENTS LATER
Bailey looks at his cell phone, sees a picture of him and Hannah.  He dials her number
MEGAN
I thought you wanted time to think.
BAILEY
Yeah, well... fuck I don't know.  I just can't leave it like that.  Where's the next train stop?
MEGAN
Yonkers.
BAILEY
I'll be there in fifteen minutes. 
INT. MOVIE THEATER - CONTINUOUS
TRAVIS
What the hell is this?
KALLIOPE
They added a few scenes I guess.
TRAVIS
Where did they come up with it?
KALLIOPE
Sh, it's not that bad. 
TRAVIS
(under his breath)
That's what happened.
KALLIOPE
What?
TRAVIS
Nothing.
Kalliope scoots closer to Travis, putting her head on his shoulder.  Travis closes his eyes takes a deep breath, and he looks back down at Kalliope. 
FX Kalliope flickers into Megan.
Travis jumps up, freaked out, and walks out of the theater. 

Easy-Speak

EXT. STREET -- NIGHT
Kalliope and Travis walk down a back alley, no one is around.  They are both already visibly drunk.  Kalliope stops and looks at Travis coyly.  She looks him up and down, weighing this option. 
KALLIOPE
You want a hot dog?
INT. HOT DOG RESTAURANT -- MOMENTS LATER
Kalliope grabs Travis's hand and walks him through the restaurant, completely ignoring the counter, heading straight to a back phone book.  She pushes Travis in, looks around to make sure nobody is watching, pushes passed Travis, and opens a secret door. 
INT. SPEAKEASY -- MOMENTS LATER
Travis looks around, and takes the environment in.  There are very few people here, the speakeasy is completely immersed in the past.  No signs of modern technology are evident. 
TRAVIS
You know you kind of got me craving a hot dog.
KALLIOPE
Oh, we'll get hot dogs.  I just had to make sure you were cool first.
Travis stands up and starts to walk to the bar. 
TRAVIS
7 & 7.  Orange, Lime, Cherry. 
KALLIOPE
Oh, we are way passed 7 & 7s.  Sit, relax.  This ones on me.
Kalliope walks to the bar, and Travis pulls out his cell phone.  A waiter comes by.
WAITER
Sir, you are going to have to turn that off.  We don't allow cell phones in here.
TRAVIS
Oh.
(quietly)
Sorry.
Kalliope comes back to the table, with two coffee mugs.  She slides on over to him, not sitting down. 
KALLIOPE
Miss me?
(not letting him answer)
Of course you did, but you can relax, I've returned. 
Travis ignores this and takes a sip from the mug, unaware of what he is drinking.
TRAVIS
Strong coffee.  What is it?
KALLIOPE
That, my dear, is a very delicious 140 proof bourbon mixed with a very not delicious thing they call absinthe. 
TRAVIS
So you take me to a bar, get me drunk, just to go to another bar.
KALLIOPE
You are honestly going to sit there and tell me you have never hit more than one bar in a single evening.  Plus, you seem like an old soul.
TRAVIS
Oh do I?
KALLIOPE
I've got your number Mister Dillinger.
TRAVIS
You think you have me all figured out, huh?
(pause)
I have a few tricks up my sleeve.
Kalliope brushes his cheek and slowly goes to whisper in his ear.
KALLIOPE
So do I.
Kalliope gets up and walks away.  Travis sits there, completely confused.  The faint sound of a piano being played can be faintly heard.  Travis turns to look at her.  Kalliope plays and sings a jazzy, sentimental song. 
INT. SPEAKEASY -- MOMENTS LATER
TRAVIS
That was great.
KALLIOPE
You couldn't come up with a better adjective than that?  You strike me as the type who could come up with a less cliche way of saying you enjoyed it.  Besides, you should be flattered.  I don't let just anybody hear me sing.
TRAVIS
Just close friends and family?
KALLIOPE
Complete strangers mostly. 
TRAVIS
But you have my number, remember?  How much of a completely stranger can I really be?
Kalliope laughs.
KALLIOPE
Finish your drink.  Night isn't over yet. 
Kalliope winks at him. 

Tales of a 24 year old nothing

At 18, I had it all planned out what life at 25 was going to be like: I was going to be living on my own, I was going to be gainfully employed,  I was going to be with the girl I would wind up with, and I was going to be on my way to setting myself up for the rest of life. Oh, and I wrote a shitty young adult novel. 


At 20, things were all going to plan. I was on my way to the degree, I had just started seeing a girl I couldn't deny feeling was "the one". I was just missing the job, the apartment, and was cocky that my real life would start in the next 2 years.

At 22, I had the degree, I still had the girl, but that was the slippery slope where the momentum and traction didn't keep me up. I was living in a basement, with my girlfriend. The only thing missing in the trifecta that signified the failure of life was the unwanted pregnancy. The lack of a job started to get to me.  No one really tells you that an English degree is pretty much worthless. Yeah, you can dissect Wordsworth  and Faulkner with the best of them, but you have a piece of paper that cant get you a job anywhere, but I was keeping it together, and it all slipped out bit by bit. 

At 24, it  the plan was all shot to shit. There was no job, there were internships. Internships where I had to pay to get to work, and then a slightly better internship of which I'm presently at. I get a title, and i get my travel comped. I guess it's the stepping stone I need. I feel strangely optimistic, and hopefully in not the same 18-year old one.  I'm still living at home, and I'm still in the basement, and it still drives me nuts. I feel like I'm 16 again, and now there's a slight difference:the girl, the girl quite frankly just wasn't the one, and it got messy. It's all part of the journey I suppose.  The big difference is that I'm starting to seriously invest in myself. I'm seriously investing in my writing (see this). I don't know. 24 may be the year that leads me to the rest of my life, in a way that is better than i imagined.

A Brand New Tuesday

Not like anybody reads this, but I updated the look of the Tues, it's a little sleeker, a little darker, a little sexier. 

The death of me.

Sarah Becker, the first and best example of my relationship with girls. It was in 8th Grade. We were the best of friends, always talking, joking around, everything was peachy until the second she found out I had a crush on her. I told Mark DeLuca, who told Jenny Graham, who told Matt O’Connell, who told Sarah.  That day was probably the end of my innocence.

I’m sitting there drinking my Ecto Cooler juice box, eating a ham and cheese, and out of peripheral vision I see Matt and Sarah, and more specifically Sarah looking directly at me and giggling her high pitched giggle.  She knew, and I knew she knew.  She even knew that I knew.

She comes up, and meekly utters out a single syllable

Hi.

With that my face is redder than the reddest tomato you could ever see.  I can’t speak, I can’t think, and I can’t do anything but be painfully aware of how awkward and small I feel. That is the day Sarah and I stopped being friends, and she started to be the girl I grade-school loved. 

But for now, we tell the tale of a distant first kiss

EXT.  PARK -- EVENING
Travis sits on stone steps, it's a quiet, nice spot.  He looks at his laptop, closes his eyes, and breathes deep.
FX- A couple comes into focus as Travis slowly types.
TRENT
I'm really glad I met you.
MISSY
Me too.
TRENT
You look really pretty.
MISSY
Thanks, I really like your shirt.
Trent and Missy lock eyes.  And slowly move in to kiss, all of a sudden Missy turns, and starts to walk away.
FX- Trent and Missy morph into a younger Travis and Megan
Megan sits next to Travis.

MEGAN
I miss you sometimes.
TRAVIS
Only sometimes?
MEGAN
You know what I mean, don't be a dick.
TRAVIS
I can't believe you found me here.
MEGAN
It's our spot isn't it?  Our first kiss.
TRAVIS
Except how we didn't actually kiss here.
MEGAN
That was your idea.  You said it was more romantic.  I had no problems telling people our first kiss was in a movie theater lobby.
TRAVIS
So is this a desperate attempt to get me back, because I have to say, you could of worked on a better speech.
MEGAN
You were so nervous, and right after you just looked at me.  God I still remember blushing when you just got this devastated look in your eye, and said-
TRAVIS
I'm in trouble.
FX- Megan disappears
Travis stares at the people all around him, the busy street coming back to life.

The Future

I'm about to take romantic comedies to the next level....

Stay tuned.

The realization of a daydream

EXT. GRANDFATHER'S HOUSE -- NIGHT
Travis walks slowly to the house, and see's Megan.  There is a long beat.
TRAVIS
You know, you daydream, and you practice this moment in your head again and again until you have it perfectly figured out, and yet, all I can come up with is: Hi.
MEGAN
You look good.
TRAVIS
Do I?  I've been drinking.
MEGAN
That sounds about right.
TRAVIS
I'm sure you didn't come all this way to pick a fight.  What do you want?
MEGAN
You.
TRAVIS
You had me.
MEGAN
I screwed up.
Travis takes a cigarette, lights it and and puts it out on his arm.  He winces in pain, and that starts to laugh.  Megan doesn't say anything she just looks on confused.
TRAVIS
This just figures. 
MEGAN
Um, okay.
TRAVIS
You would think I would be dreaming, but I'm not.  But I have new lovely scar story to tell people at least.
MEGAN
This was a bad idea.
TRAVIS
Funny, I should have said that many a year ago.
Megan grabs his hand, leans over and kisses where the cigarette went out, looks up at Travis and locks eyes with him.  Travis's is clearly confused.
TRAVIS
God damn it. 
Travis kisses Megan.
TRAVIS
This isn't right.

A Tragic Flaw

Heres a new treat from the screenplay in progress. Very rarely do I feel like i perfectly nail something on draft one, but I guess the Gods were smiling on me today. It's based on something someone told me anywho, here goes





EXT. MATT'S APARTMENT -- AFTERNOON
Matt and Travis sit on his front stoop with a basketball, having just returned from playing.
MATT
That was almost embarrassing.
TRAVIS
I haven't played since 8th grade.  Don't flatter yourself, it wasn't that big of an accomplishment.
MATT
Hey, I'll take my victories where I can get them. 
TRAVIS
Nice standards you have there.
MATT
You want to stay for dinner?
TRAVIS
Emma's kind of a crappy cook.
MATT
It's an acquired taste.  You need a less sensitive pallet to fully appreciate the subtleties.
TRAVIS
So is that what happens when the ring goes on the finger?  You start making elaborate excuses for the shortcomings of your partner.
MATT
Something like that.
TRAVIS
It's nice isn't it?
MATT
It really kind of is.
TRAVIS
I bet.
MATT
All that time with the same woman, and you never get married.  Christ, that is not the Travis Dillinger that left.
TRAVIS
I had the ring a week before I left. 
MATT
How come you didn't.
TRAVIS
I never wanted it to be a patch.  I was waiting for smooth sailing.
MATT
And you couldn't get out of rough waters?
TRAVIS
You know, I'm gonna stop the sailing metaphor right now, because, frankly, I got nothing else there.  We fought a lot.
MATT
Who doesn't?
TRAVIS
Happy people?
MATT
Do you miss her?
TRAVIS
You know, I shouldn't. 
MATT
Why not?
TRAVIS
Because she gave me some pretty decent reasons not to, but I keep thinking that maybe this is all just a bad dream.  That she's going to be there when I get home one day.  Apologizing and it will be A-OK.
MATT
It's pretty to think so, isn't it?
TRAVIS
I guess so.
MATT
So, this new girl.
TRAVIS
She's nothing special.
MATT
Then why are you spending so much time with her?
TRAVIS
I'm kind of low on friendly faces these days, plus she has a great body.
MATT
So she isn't your next Little Red Hair Girl?
TRAVIS
What?
MATT
We may not have been that close before Travis, but you are an easy person to read.  We all knew you.  Your happiness depends on having that girl in your life.
TRAVIS
I don't think I've ever dated a red head.
MATT
Really?
TRAVIS
I kind of dig them too, I guess the odds never worked in my favor.
MATT
Yeah, you kind of stuck to the brunettes.
TRAVIS
No I didn't.
MATT
What color is her hair?
Travis gets a sudden quick revelation.
TRAVIS
Okay, so apparently I have a type, but it isn't like that with this one.
MATT
If you say so. 
TRAVIS
I don't know.  It's not bad, I guess, but it's just not knock me on my ass amazing.
(Pause)
I had that with Megan.  I could say a million bad things about her, but I had that with her from moment one. 
MATT
Yeah, well maybe if you play nice, she'll dye her hair or wear a wig.

The title derived

Emily Sinclair could run the whole gamut of emotions on me. Every day brought with it a new adjective. Sundays were reserved for total abhorrence, Thursdays lust, and Mondays bafflement. On this particular day, I was madly in love with her, it must have been a Tuesday.

A Hero's Welcome

FADE IN:
INT. AIRPORT -- NIGHT
TRAVIS
Anxious, defeated, these words were alien to Travis Dillinger. This was a man at the top of his game, the pinnacle of his life.
INT. AIRPLANE -- LATER
Travis sits alone on the airplane. Looking disheveled.
INT. AIRPORT -- LATE NIGHT
Travis gets off the airport and surveys the scene. He is surrounded by people, all ecstatic to see him
TRAVIS
Upon stepping through the gate, he received the heroes welcome, but even war heroes didn't get such a warm reception. The balloons, the fans, friends, family. They were all there. Even she was there.
MEGAN
Hey. Look, I know-
TRAVIS
Megan, I don't-
MEGAN
It'll be different this time. I'll help you. I'll be your muse, your inspiration. I love you Travis. Always have, always will.
TRAVIS
I love you too.
Travis and Megan kiss. All of a sudden Travis backs off.
TRAVIS
This isn't right.
FX - The scene is ripped. A piece of paper being ripped apart. Pieces of the shot are gone in swift, fluid motions, replaced by white.
INT. AIRPLANE -- NIGHT
Travis stares looking at a blank page in a note book. Then peers out the window.
INT. AIRPORT -- EVENING
Travis steps off the plane, shoeless.
INT. AIRPORT -- MOMENTS LATER
Travis, with a pair of brown penny loafers on his feet, walks to baggage claim. One by one the crowd disperses until it is just Travis, and his lone bag circling the carousel.

Bailey (Prose from when I was 18)

You wake up. Head throbbing. Mouth dry. Clothed only in boxers. The most stunningly beautiful person in any world is snuggled up tight against you. She purrs softly: fast asleep. This is your life, Kyle Blake. You arm doesn’t dare move. Despite a few minor details, the memory of the past night remains in tact. Nothing happened. You fell asleep spooning with you best friend. The only person in the world that you give a fuck about, her skins pressed into yours. The meshed hands, intertwined legs. This is Kyle’s wake up call
You attempt to get up, but reality, sobriety keep you there. Marissa would kill you if she saw this. She’d go to the kitchen, grab a knife and cut off your balls. She would take the ice pick and chip, chip, chip away at your dick. Drew and Riley, they would tell you it’s about fucking time. Give you high-fives. Nothing happened. You saw into each others souls and fell asleep all over cheap beer. This was just another Thursday night to you two. You’ve had hundreds of these. This was the norm. The average. This is your Friday morning Kyle.
10:42. You’ve been awake for sixty-three minutes, fifteen seconds. Head still throbbing. At least you can count on your headaches to stick with you. A yawn invades your body. Starting at your nicotine-stained teeth down your callous tongue, all the way to your horrifically empty stomach. An impulse hits your overworked and under-paid brain. It goes straight to your heart. Emotion, logic’s distant, retarded cousin, hits you out of nowhere. Like a brick to your back. It’s been awhile. If you could remember the last time you felt anything, if ever, you could recognize it easier. Apathy is the new ecstasy. A heavy sigh drops to your long-winded lungs. Your lips slowly tremble and move to the sea of peach. Nerves conquer you. You feel the skin against your slightly quivering lips. Suddenly your twelve all over. Your second first kiss. You hit her on her neck. Contact. The brain sends an emergency signal. S.O.S. 911! Help, somebody. God, please! Stop! If only you had a choice. The heart intercepts the message and destroys it. You move to her lips. You free your arm. It’s half asleep. Pins and needles. The first thing it feels is Goddess Bailey’s soft skin. A light brush on the cheek. A shock down your spine. Close your desolate eyes. Breathe in. Take the plunge. Lip to lip. Soul to soul. You’re twelve again. Butterfly-infested stomach. Your second first kiss.
The blonde responds warmly. It must be a dream, she must be fast asleep. They must be sixteen. They must be crazy still, back at the old nuthouse. That’s what she dreams of every night. Her nightly visit of perfection. In her dreams, she’s married with two completely neurotic kids. Her husband couldn’t be more amazing. In her fantasyland, Disney World, Never-never land, she’s with him. She can feel his lips. Slowly and stealthily her tongue advances into foreign territory. It feels so real, so right, so perfect, but it’s over in an instant. Before it ever started, it was decimated and demolished. An eternity in a moment. She keeps her lips slightly ajar. The words, “I love you Kyle” escape without warning. Kyle Blake, this is your true love.
You ears hear this. It travels up to cranial territory and your aortic pump simultaneously. Another battle, this time for all the marbles. Double or nothing. The words, “I love you too Bay” shoot up out of the lowest crevice of your heart. They blast out of your mouth like a loaded canon. Your brain finally comes back from his coffee break. Mocha Java Espresso. Fully aware. Shock and awe. Rejuvenated. It’s over. You stop. An eternity in a moment. Sixty two seconds. You’re twelve. You’re sixteen. You’re twenty-one. Kyle Blake, this is your wake up call.

December 25th, 1992. A little 9-year-old boy sits playing with his new Ninja Turtles. Dressed in a black suit that was 2 sizes two big, he sat there looking at Space Explorer Leonardo. Bebop was about to get the living pulp beaten out of him. Smash. Bam. Pow. Master Splinter would love watching his little protégé beat the living snot out of the evil crony. Unfortunately for little Kyle, Santa didn’t bring him a Splinter figure. K Mart must have been out of them. In fists of fury and rage, a button goes flying off of Kyle’s suit jacket and on to the hard would floor in the dining room.

Lady Blake, queen of the castle, just sighed and said, “Kyle, be more careful”. It was a hectic day for the domestic goddess. The house was filling with a plethora of aromas. Burning Clove. Garlic. Turkey, potatoes, beats, all wafting in from the kitchen. The smell of snow mixed with the exhaust from a car come sneaking in through the cracked window. Jimmy Stewart on the television. It’s a Wonderful Life, what a picture perfect lie. The loud sounds of Bing Crosby crooning along to, “White Christmas’ stormed in from the same cracked window.

A moment passes and the doorbell chimes in. Ding-dong. Drab and devoid of any character. Little Kyle’s mother halts the preparations for her seven-course grand feast. The lovely hostess, the mistress of the manor, opens the royal gates after a slight moment of hesitation. To her amazement, a group of five carolers, three men and two women, start their tone-deaf rendition of, “The First Noel”. Queen Blake called for her adoring king to come quick.

Lord Blake, with his gruff but lovable voice asks what the trouble is from a far. “Just come”, she yells at him. From the distance the alpha Blake appears. Dressed in rugged blue jeans that had started to wear, and a black/red flannel shirt, straight out of an L.L. Bean catalogue. His sleeves were rolled to show off his hair arms as well as the fact that he had been hard at work. The couple stood there listening intently, smiling, feeling total bliss until the final word of “Jingle Bells”. The carolers left as quickly as they arrived. The man picked up his petite wife and kissed her warmly. The scratch from his five o’clock shadow was sure to itch at his wife’s silky porcelain skin. Her cheeks turned brick red. Like a virginal schoolgirl, she told her lover, “not in front of Kyle”.

Pre-pubescent Kyle stuck his tongue out with a mild, “ick”. In a few years he would get what it was all about. He’d learn all about sex from his school yard chums. He’ll see a girl’s privates from playing doctor with little Sarah Becker, the girl down the street. They rode the bus home together every day. It was her idea, Kyle just went with the flow.

Twenty-something Kyle wondered what happened to Sarah. What she was doing, how big her tits were, and how many guys she let fuck her. After snapping back into reality, he brought his girlfriend into his bedroom. He would stick his tongue in her with a mild, “slurp”. He knew what it was all about, all the joys of physical contact with girls. His buddies taught him all about it in fifth grade. He would play, “Twister” with her for an our, touching every skin cell on her body. Twisting and turning. Fun for the whole family, at least Kyle’s. Kyle was the only Blake left alive.

The overture ends. The curtian rises, and out steps Emma. Emma, the quirky friend. Emma, the girl with personality. Emma, the funny one. Emma, the ruiner. She walks into the coffee place, somewhere in the background. She walks three steps stage left, and somehow trancends into center stage.

Art

You know why we're artists?

Why?

Because we have no idea who the hell we are.

The worst place to be

The worst place I could possibly be when I hear a gun shot, taking a piss. I could have been down there, in the middle of the action. I could have stopped the gunman after they did it. I could have dived in front of that bullet. But, no, I'm standing here in front of 80 lbs of porcelain, and I jump and hit the bowl mid-stream.


Immediately I think to myself. Oh god, I hope it didn't hit Kathryn. I know it's aweful to only think of my girlfriend, but in my defense, I only met her family forty-five minutes ago. Of all the weekends I pick to propose to her, I pick this one. It was bad enough that this is the first time the hopefully future in laws, but the shot. That really is going to put a damper in my plans.

I don't bother to clean up, and I pray that doesn't come back to bite me in the ass. With all that I assume is happening, i think a piss mark on the toilet seat is the least of their concerns. Plus, i can always blame it on somebody else. 

I head downstairs, after what I can only assume has been three hours, but realistically is only a minute, and the first think i notice is the back of Kathryn's head. Cries, gasps, sirens, they all get fainter. By the time I reach the bottom of the stairs everybody is gone, and I wonder how all of that could seemingly happen so quickly.... 

Betting

Look, I came here and as much as I want to  have this grand romantic speech to sweep you off your feet, I don't. But heres my pitch: I know I'm not a safe bet, I know I'm not anything close to a good bet, but deep down, I'm an okay guy, and I think somebody should bet on me in the long run. I was pretty much hoping that would be you.